e/motion & peace


long week, filled with counterparting emotions: worries and joy, upset about little things, a moment of ephiphany, summer sun in April, chemo on Friday, rain on Saturday… in between all, the wish to be more at peace, especially in this year.

“I am at peace”, I wrote on a piece of paper (and nice twist: peace/piece, this piece of peace), even though I wasn’t sure how to get there.

Then Saturday, and a quote popped up in the Mindful Blog, as if in answer:

“How to be at peace now?
By making peace with the present moment. The present moment is the field on which the game of life happens. It cannot happen anywhere else. Once you have made peace with the present moment, see what happens, what you can do or choose to do, or rather what life does through you. There are three words that convey the secret of the art of living, the secret of all success and happiness: One With Life. Being one with life is being one with Now. You then realize that you don’t live your life, but life lives you. Life is the dancer, and you are the dance.”
– Eckhart Tolle, A new Earth: Awakening to your Life’s Purpose


In response to the current photo theme “Motion”.
Here’s the stream of “motion” photos + the call: photo challenge “Motion”


cherry oncology blossoms + 2 new cancer memoirs (free kindle reads)


Today is the day after chemo #10. The oncology centre comes with a lovely sight these days: the cherry trees in front of it are in bloom, that’s where the photo above is from.

I slept okay this night, woke up once and read a bit, then fell asleep again. This morning, I browsed kindle books, and came across 2 new cancer memoirs that are up there for free right now, thought i share the links. I read the prologue of the first book already, while sitting in front of the terrace door, and it sounds interesting, written from the perspective of a trauma psychologist:

  • “Life Unexpected: A Trauma Psychologist Journeys Through Breast Cancer” by Naomi L. Baum, Kindle Edition
  • And the other book is: “Hope Is a Good Breakfast: and other humble thoughts on my cancer journey” by Tara Shuman: Kindle Edition

The book by the trauma psychologist, I am especially interested in it as the oncology centre has started to offer art therapy sessions this month. I went to 2 of them, and was surprised by the way they worked, and how they help. I started to put a blog post together about them, hope to finish it tomorrow and put it online then.

All the best to all fellow bloggers who are on this journey through cancerland and chemo right now~



Blogging & Links:
Here is a longer blog post on how things are currently, the post also leads back to the start of my diagnosis: “Intense, or: anger, hope, spring & the larger picture”

ephemeral II, or: storm


today: storm
today: the next blood check
today: laughter and tears
today: browsing other “ephemeral” moments
today: 2 days to next chemo (usually it would be on Friday, but as it’s the Easter weekend, dates have moved, and chemo will happen in two shifts.)

and a storm quote:

“When you come out of the storm, you won’t be the same person who walked in. That’s what this storm’s all about.”
― Haruki Murakami, Kafka on the Shore

ephemeral, or: this fleeting blue moment


An underwater moment from this week: jellyfish in motion.

I haven’t been diving, but I visited the botanical garden near here, which also is home to an aquarium. Watching the jellyfish was both amazing and dreamlike, like watching a different dimension of life.

Didn’t really expect the photo to work, but somehow the automatic setting captured that moment. And beautiful to read the photo challenge note on photography:

“One thing I love about taking photos is that it forces me to be present — to consider and appreciate now, before now evaporates and becomes then.” – Krista

Here’s the stream of “ephemeral” photos + the call: ephemeral

And a fleeting quote:

“Life is made up of a collection of moments that are not ours to keep… All of this is yours, yet none of it is. How could it be? Look around you. Everything is fleeting.”
– Rachel Brathren

solar eclipse morning


today: solar eclipse
today: chemo #6
today: friday
today: day 162 after diagnosis
today: sunny

Today the sky brought a sky show of its own kind: solar eclipse! It was visible here in South Germany from half past 9 to half 12, and the skies were open – but I was inside at that time with others in the oncology centre, getting the next chemo. We saw the effects of the eclipse together, though, with the view outside turning shaded in a strange way. And with the nurses joking about whose eyesight might be worth to risk for a direct look, while we shared stories of the last visible solar eclipse in 1999.

a bit more about the days 1-162, here: life as a journey: c is for cancer, and for courage, too